fuck that shit

David Bowie look out! Zubbles: The First Colored Bubbles (soon to be segregated from the regular bubbles in the South) will make your summer afternoons so much nicer! Have a look!

Bubbles have long been a source of delight and fascination for children the world over.

Now, after ten years of experiments and discoveries, we have done what scientists claimed was impossible… we’ve combined the simple joy of bubbles with the beauty and magic of color, inventing the world’s first real colored bubbles.

For the first time, children will be able to choose their favorite Zubbles from a range of rich, vibrant colors, and experience the magic of watching colored bubbles float through the air. And, using a new class of patent pending specialty dyes developed by C2C Technologies, the color in Zubbles magically disappears when exposed to air, water or pressure.

It took toy maker Tim Kehoe over 10 years to create colored soap bubbles that don’t stain. He made the breakthrough in 2005 and was awarded the Popular Science Grand Award for General Innovation. I think it was well deserved.

If you haven’t seen already …For all fellow Lars von Trier fans AntiChrist is coming out in the UK on July 24th and should hit screens in the states on 23rd October.

It’s had some pretty mixed reviews when it premiered at Cannes.

such as this

and this

then this.

And I’ll be back in the middle of December. I start my tour and experience with Up with People tomorrow. I’ll be touring the world, learning, living and performing. Although I’m really hoping to keep my performing to a minimum, as I neither sing, dance nor play instruments. I’m a bit terrified about the audition week. I’m going to ask to get put on technical. As you see below I’ll be in a new area each week over the next 5-6 months, living with a new host family and leaving behind my little thank you gifts (lots of metal ‘Not an Indian Product’ bookmarks, a few decks of Idaho Potatoes playing cards and two peelers). I’m excited to travel, especially to Europe as I’ve never been. I’m concerned about the Nordic winter though - I’m not much for the cold. I’m psyched to hopefully spot a bunch of Swedish babes. Spending a lot of time in Sweden. I’m guessing my internet access will be sketchy, but I’ll try to keep up with the shit around here. In theory I’ll get my blog on here and keep y’all up to date.

My tour schedule is below.

United States Dates
Denver, CO (Orientation & Staging) 10 July – 9 August
Thornton, CO 10 August – 12 August
-Show @ Pinnacle Events Center - Aug. 12th – 7pm
Aspen/Snowmass, CO 13 August – 16 August
-Show @ Snowmass Village Stage - Aug. 15th - 7pm
Durango, CO 17 August – 21 August
-Show @ Community Concert Hall, Fort Lewis College - Aug. 20 & 21 - Time TBD
Prescott, AZ 22 August - 24 August
-Show @ location TBD - Aug. 24th - Time TBD
Lake Havasu City, AZ 25 August – 30 August
-Show(s) @ High School Performing Arts Center - [Show Date(s) TBD]

Mexico Dates
Leon 31 August – 6 September
Querétaro 7 September – 13 September
Veracruz 14 September – 20 September
Puebla 21 September – 27 September
Mexico City 28 September – 5 October

Europe Dates
Luleå, Sweden (Private show) 6 October – 9 October
Stockholm, Sweden (Private show) 10 October – 14 October
Sundsvall, Sweden (Private show) 15 October – 19 October
Vänersborg, Sweden (Private show) 20 October – 23 October
Cottbus, Germany (Private show) 24 October – 29 October
Warsaw, Poland (Private show) 30 October – 3 November
Zabrze, Poland (Private show) 4 November – 8 November
The Netherlands (Private show) 9 November – 13 November
Berlin, Germany (Private show) 14 November – 19 November
Hamburg, Germany (Private show) 20 November – 24 November
Odense, Denmark (Private show) 25 November – 27 November
Varberg, Sweden (Private show) 28 November – 3 December
Uppsala, Sweden (Private show) 4 December – 7 December
Tampere, Finland (Private show) 8 December – 11 December
(City TBD) Sweden 12 December – 15 December

I demand that each and every one of you have an awesome summer 2009. Keep cool, cats!

I’ve been meaning to get this one off my chest for a while now. It’s old, and I don’t want to finish it. Also, the justifications I would have offered at the time of composition are not the same as those I would offer now; which is to say that finishing it now would mean Part I and Part II would have been written at different points in time, thereby entirely defeating the point of the open letter which was to describe the way I felt about being in a very particular place at a very particular time.

Since Hans is back in California and this concerns his former residence, and since my upcoming birthday has been giving me some serious New Year’s nerves, and for still other reasons about which I’m currently unsure, I feel the time is right.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

December 31, 2007

An Open Letter to the Residents, Loved Ones, and Passersby of 2031 N. Hoover

Carrying a key in my pocket that works in this door is at once so gratifying and depressing that I don’t know what else to do except give a good hard fist shake and try my best to get down in writing at least some of the things I’ve been thinking.

I’ll start by giving you a very accurate description of what’s going on. The one that just happened is the kind of morning I want to always have; I woke up on the couch shirtless and in a pair of jeans that I got yesterday and probably won’t take off until tomorrow. They’re great jeans, nice to sleep in and even better when you wake up.

I was alone in the cottage, the cigarette models had gone to work clothing the beautiful and ugly upper crust and my man was on a plane. I walked around from room to room and over again for ten minutes before I realized I didn’t have anything to do. I’m skipping work even as I write this; they’re going to ship plants, but without my bumbling oversight.

No vino el patroncito -
Mas alta la musica,
Mas al gusto el dia.

Were I to think of myself as a poet instead of a notebook toting poser, there’s a very real possibility that all my output would be in Spanish and I’m not sure how I feel about that. I’m concerned that one day as I’m crossing a street I will see someone or something that will make my heart beat and sing so loudly that I’ll start shouting Mexican free verse right there in the goddamn intersection; nobody wants to see that.

So I was by myself in Los Feliz with nothing to do and a whole morning in front of me. I wanted to wash my face but there wasn’t any hand soap and I damned myself for having forgotten my toothbrush. So I rinsed my face and put on one of my Top Three Favorite T-Shirts. For prosperity’s sake, I’ll reproduce the entire list.

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Being as bored as I was, I started typing random words into youtube’s search feature to discover some different videos that I had not previously seen… I started with ‘the worst’ watched some stupid soccer dives and random whack videos, then moved on to fattest, and saw some disturbing videos about obese kids, which lead me to stumble on to ’strongest’ and well … watch the video.

I only made it a little way up the front. Then it’s a steep one.

From the BBC:

Row over climbing at Ayers Rock

By Nick Bryant
BBC News, Sydney

Uluru, also known as Ayers Rock, is a popular tourist draw
A dispute has erupted in Australia over the issue of whether tourists should be banned from climbing Uluru, also known as Ayers Rock.
It is one of the country’s biggest tourist attractions.
The national park which runs the site has proposed a ban for cultural and environmental reasons, supported by the local indigenous community.
But the government in the Northern Territory says it is against a ban, which could hurt tourism.
Uluru is Australia’s most instantly recognisable landform, a stunning red sandstone rock that rises from the outback.
For Aborigines, it is a sacred site, and the local indigenous community has campaigned for more than two decades to prevent tourists from climbing it.
Aboriginal elders have likened it to scrambling over a Buddhist temple or the dome of St Peter’s basilica in Rome.
Signs at Uluru caution visitors not to climb, in deference to the sensibilities of the traditional owners, and because it is not that safe. Some 30 people have died climbing the rock.
But now the national park is proposing an outright ban.
The Northern Territory government does not support the full closure of rock, fearing its impact on a local tourism industry, which is already in the doldrums.
But it is the federal government which will ultimately decide what has long been a contentious issue.

When was the last really good alien movie?

War of the Worlds started out great, but the ending…blew

Signs had its moments, but the ending…blew

Fire in the Sky freaked my shit out when I was a lad, but not sure how it holds up

I’m forgetting others, but there’s a new one coming out called District 9, and it doesn’t look that shitty.

If you live in a big city you’ve probably seen some of the viral marketing materials:

Here’s a synopsis:

Thirty years ago, aliens made first contact with Earth. Humans waited for the hostile attack, or the giant advances in technology. Neither came. Instead, the aliens were refugees, the last survivors of their home world. The creatures were set up in a makeshift home in South Africa’s District 9 as the world’s nations argued over what to do with them.

Now, patience over the alien situation has run out. Control over the aliens has been contracted out to Multi-National United (MNU), a private company uninterested in the aliens’ welfare – they will receive tremendous profits if they can make the aliens’ awesome weaponry work. So far, they have failed; activation of the weaponry requires alien DNA.

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I can’t find an embed for the trailer, but check it over at Yahoo Movies

make sure and click on the Theatrical Trailer as opposed to the teaser

UPDATE: not sure if Johnny Utah is pulling my chain, but here’s another link. via Slashfilm

After spending his entire 13-year career in Montreal, Saku Koivu will be calling Orange County his home. The Anaheim Ducks have signed the free agent centre to a one-year, $3.25 million contract. Koivu, 34, had been the Canadiens’ second-longest serving captain in team history. His nine seasons with the ‘C’ trailed only the legendary Jean Beliveau, who was captain for 10 seasons.

The move to Anaheim reunites Koivu with fellow countryman Teemu Selanne. The duo helped Finland earn a silver medal at the 2006 Olympic Games in Turin, Italy.

“I’m very excited to join the Ducks this coming season,” Koivu said in a statement. “I’m also looking forward to a full season with Teemu Selanne as a teammate.”

Koivu, who was drafted by the Canadiens with the 21st overall pick in the 1993 draft, hoped to stay with Habs but realized if a deal did not get completed quickly, he would likely look elsewhere.

“If I’m not signed by July 1, I don’t think I’ll be back in Montreal,” Koivu said after the Canadiens were eliminated in the first round of the playoffs by the Boston Bruins. “Finishing your career with one team would be awesome in a way, but it’s too early to say because I don’t know what the team’s plan is.”

Koivu, one of the club’s most celebrated players in its 100-year history, had a great deal of hard luck in Montreal. He suffered a potentially career-ending eye injury in 2006 in the playoffs against the Hurricanes and missed most of the 2001-02 season with Intra-abdominal non-Hodgkins lymphoma.

Koivu has suited up in 792 games and has scored 191 goals with 450 assists. He played in only 65 games for the Habs in 2008-09 after dealing with a foot injury. He scored 16 goals and posted 36 assists.

“Saku Koivu’s character and leadership qualities are unquestioned,” said general Manager Bob Murray in a team statement on Wednesday. “He is a skilled playmaker and we are thrilled to add him to our team.”

Montreal lost both Koivu and Kovalev this week. A day after some fans held a rally to keep Alex Kovalev in Montreal, the forward signed a two-year, $10 million contract with the Ottawa Senators. One of the most skilled players in the league, the Togliatti, Russia native is also one of the most unpredictable.

This is why I love Led Zeppelin.

Bright light almost blinding,
Black night still there shining,
I cant stop, keep on climbing,
Looking for what I knew.

Had a friend, she once told me,
you got a friend, you aint lonely,
Now shes gone and left me only
Looking for what I knew.

Mmm, Im telling you now,
The greatest thing you ever can do now,
Is trade a smile with someone whos blue now,
Its very easy just.

Met a man on the roadside crying,
Without a friend, theres no denying,
Youre incomplete, theyll be no finding
Looking for what you knew.

So anytime somebody needs you,
Dont let them down, altho it grieves you,
Some day youll need someone like they do,
Looking for what you knew

These kids are great!

Robert S. McNamara

New York Times

Serving Presidents John F. Kennedy and Lyndon B. Johnson from 1961 to 1968, Mr. McNamara oversaw hundreds of military missions, thousands of nuclear weapons and billions of dollars in military spending and foreign arms sales. . .

As early as April 1964, Senator Wayne Morse, Democrat of Oregon, called Vietnam “McNamara’s War.” Mr. McNamara did not object. “I am pleased to be identified with it,” he said, “and do whatever I can to win it.”

Half a million American soldiers went to war on his watch. More than 16,000 died; 42,000 more would fall in the seven years to come. . .

He had spent decades thinking through the lessons of the war. The greatest of these was to know one’s enemy — and to “empathize with him,” as Mr. McNamara explained in Errol Morris’s 2003 documentary, “The Fog of War: Eleven Lessons from the Life of Robert S. McNamara.”

“We must try to put ourselves inside their skin and look at us through their eyes,” he said. The American failure in Vietnam, he said, was seeing the enemy through the prism of the cold war, as a domino that would topple the nations of Asia if it fell.

Errol Morris - “The Fog of War”

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As some of you smokers already know, President Obama signed the Family Smoking Prevention and Tobacco Control Act, which grants the Food and Drug Administration the authority to regulate tobacco and tobacco products. Obama, a cigarrette addict himself, signed the bill at the end of June:

Here is what the bill aims to do:

Crack down on tobacco marketing and sales to kids.

Ban candy and fruit-flavored cigarettes.

Require larger, more effective health warnings on tobacco products.

Require tobacco companies to disclose the contents of tobacco products, as well as changes in products and research about their health effects.

Ban terms such as “light” and “low-tar” that mislead consumers into believing that certain cigarettes are safer.

Strictly regulate all health-related claims about tobacco products to ensure they are scientifically proven and do not discourage current tobacco users from quitting or encourage new users to start.

Empower the FDA authority to require changes in tobacco products, such as the removal or reduction of harmful ingredients.

And, of course, a heavy tax on all tobacco products. But for those addicted to the drug, the tax is just another burden on already tough times.

From MSNBC.com

“We had a light bill that needed to be paid, so we paid a third of it so we could have cigarette money,” said Leonard Perry, a pack-a-day Doral smoker from Elkhart, Ind. “We’ve done that a couple times. It kind of works out but it makes it rough for the next week.”

Perry, 55, worked at American Hauler, a cargo trailer manufacturer, before being laid off two years ago. Sometimes he collects scrap metal for cigarette money. “My woman’s workin’, so that helps me out there,” he said. But his wife has her own pack-a-day Marlboro habit to support.

He’s tried repeatedly to quit, but said the habit’s hold is too strong on him. “I’ve tried the patch, that don’t work. I’ve tried the chewing gum, that don’t work. I’ve tried to get away from it without doing anything and that don’t work either,” he said.

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So I found this to be pretty odd and creepy, but not totally surprising… At least he’s safe from zombies, which in my book is always a good thing.

From The Mirror in the UK:

WORLD EXCLUSIVE
by David Gardner
Los Angeles 5/07/2009

Michael Jackson will be buried this week– without his brain. As his family tries to finalise details for the King of Pop’s funeral on Tuesday they have been told it will be held back for tests.

They faced the grim choice of waiting up to three weeks for Jackson’s brain to be returned to them or go ahead and bury him without it – which they have decided to do.

Los Angeles Coroner’s spokesman Craig Harvey confirmed that neuropathology tests will be carried out to see if it holds any clues to the exact cause of his death.

But the examination cannot begin until at least two weeks after the death when the brain has hardened sufficiently to slice it open.

Jackson died from a cardiac arrest at his Beverly Hills mansion on June 25 after a suspected overdose of painkillers.

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B. Stone emailed me this article tonight. It’s pretty interesting and funny - blast from the past, meets music, meets baseball, meets flying vinyls. I wish I was there…

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/05/sports/baseball/05disco.html?_r=2